The Dumbest Things I've Ever Heard

This happens to me a lot, and I'm sure to some of you as well, someone says something that makes me think, or even say "Well that's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard."  This made me start to wonder, what are the dumbest things I've ever heard someone say?  If I'm going to claim something is among the dumbest to have ever assaulted my ears, I've got to have some kind of solid basis for comparison, right?  So I decided to put together an "official" list.

Now, these can't just be things that are stupid by way of being blatantly untrue like, "The Moon doesn't really exist," these have to be things I have actually heard people say.  People, not person, people, as in: more than one.  These are things that people say and actually believe, but fail on a basic level of logic that requires a person to reject reason and deny fact in order to continue believing.  Rejecting reason and denying fact are, as you should know since you're here, cornerstone symptoms of Stupid, the disease this blog was created to raise awareness of.

In that spirit of raising awareness I'm not just going to list these things, we're going to get into how it's symptomatic of Stupid to help you recognize those symptoms when they present in different situations and act accordingly.  We'll start with a general paraphrase to make easier recognition in the wild and then get into the examination.  Now, in no particular order, these are the top 10 stupidest things I've heard:

1) "I don't see any difference between High Definition (HD) and Standard Definition (SD)"

With HD and upscaling technologies becoming ubiquitous this one has largely started to die out.  But I'll be damned if it doesn't still pop up now and again.  It seems to come from a few places: people are watching on a big ol' (in as literal a sense as that expression can muster) CRT set, not realizing that no matter how HD the content is, the TV lacks the physical pieces, pixels in this case, to display anything higher than a 640 across by 480 pixels tall image.  Of course you don't see a difference, there isn't one!
The other problem is people watching on a combination of too small and too far away.  Watch a video on youtube (this one's fun) in 480p, 720p and 1080p.  You can see the difference because it's on a screen capable of at least 720p and within a few feet of your face.  The farther from the screen you get the larger it's going to need to be for you to see the difference between resolutions simply because your eye can't make out that much detail to being with.  So if you're not watching on a fairly large (32"+) TV and/or sitting really close to it of course you can't tell the difference between SD and HD, you're doing it wrong.

2) "The Xbox 360 has a way larger, better library of games than the PS3"

Better may be subjective, but larger is not and when it comes to this particular case larger really is a core component of better.  In previous generations of consoles (I'm coming from roughly NES onward) the much higher prevalence of "exclusives," games on only one system, made taste and preference a much bigger factor in which system was "better".  Modern games require a lot more money to make and need to sell a lot more copies to be profitable so the company can make the next game, which means they generally get released an as many systems as possible.  This led to a generation where games were only exclusive to one system if there was heavy involvement from the company that produced the console.
This is how Sony managed to produce so many exclusive titles for their system, they own a lot of studios.  Microsoft focused on creating and perfecting a handful of exclusive franchises while trying to make their platform attractive to developers by offering oodles of support.  Sony focused on creating as many new franchises and exclusive entries as they could, while largely leaving other developers to do their own thing, as part of their effort to attract as many and different types of customers as possible.  Which type of approach is more appealing, or "better," is debatable and a matter of personal preference, which company has a larger number of games available on their system is not.  They are numbers, you can't argue whether or not 12 is bigger than 4 (not the actual numbers), that's just stupid.

3) "Getting punched in the boob/face/etc. is the same as getting punched in the testicles"

Holy mother of God, no.  Listen, ladies, and we know you're the only ones I have to talk to, ALL guys know better, until you've given birth or had some kind of extreme accident, there's little chance you have any idea how much it hurts to take a shot in the potatoes.  I have broken my hand, torn muscles in my thigh, taken an aluminum bat to the back of the head, had a thrown horseshoe split my shin open, and bitten clean through my tongue, none of those things hurt as bad as a solid hit in the balls.
I know what it's like to get punched in the face.  If I put on a few pounds I could know what it's like to get punched in the boob, almost all the feeling for both the male and female breast is in the nipple anyway.  Again, nowhere near as bad as taking one in the boys.  Those little fuckers are deeply tangled up with our nervous systems.  A hard hit and we're going down, there's no choice about it, like closing your eyes when sneezing.  Hard enough, and that doesn't really need to be that hard, you'll be lucky not to vomit.
No matter how much you think it's fun and games, saying "I'll hit you in the jewels," is like him saying "I'll snap both your arms in half."  Not.  Cool.  NO.

4) "Placing the tax burden on the middle class and letting the wealthiest people keep the majority of the wealth means more money for everybody!/Anything about trickle-down economics"

What can I even say about this that hasn't been said by every intelligent person without a personal interest in this system?  There's simply no logic to it.  Not only would basic reason tell you that someone with a lot of money generally doesn't like to let go of their money, decades of evidence have shown that this system does not have any kind of economic benefit to anyone but the people that already have way more than they need anyway.  In a beautifully naive utopia in which everyone was generous and altruistic it's a great system that allows the best of the best to rise to the top.  In practice it's an easily manipulated set of loopholes that allows a lucky few (ok, and a handful of genuinely talented, hardworking people) to distribute all the wealth to whomever of their friends and family they see fit.
The government needs money to run, to have that military we're all so proud of/ashamed of/angry at, and to keep our public schools limping along, and keep the country just...you know... running.  Taxes are how you collect this money.  The people with the most money have the most money to spare, the rest need it (in varying amounts) to buy food and shelter.  Good for you that you can buy yourself an island and live by an entirely different set of rules, but don't claim you're somehow doing it for everyone else's benefit.

5) "Allowing homosexuals to marry destroys the sanctity of marriage!"

It has never been explained how it does this, no follow-up of supporting evidence.  Is it that ceremony that's being tainted?  They're tainting your ceremony?  Who said it was yours?  So what if the marriage in your religion doesn't include homosexuals, or even says that being homosexual is wrong?  Clearly that's not their religion and they are the ones getting married.  You can't force them to live by your religions standards either, this is America, we have separation of church and state for precisely that reason, so it's got nothing to do with you, fuck off.
And how does two people of the same sex getting a new tax status ruin it for everyone?  You all still get to enjoy the same legal benefits whether or not there's a homosexual couple in your little club.  That's the key here, the legal side of things.  That's all that making gay marriage illegal prevents.  All the ceremony and symbolism happens regardless, it's two people showing that they love each other, you really can't stop that from happening with legislation.  I think Aziz Ansari said it best "You just don't like gay people and you're trying to stick it to 'em."

6) "Marijuana is bad for you/causes cancer/will ruin your life and kill you and/or should be illegal"

It's gonna be hard to keep this one short, but I'll try.  Dating back to the 1930's when marijuana was first made illegal on a federal level, there has never been any legitimate medical test or clinical study showing marijuana to have any kind of long-term negative effect on a person's health.  None.  Zero.  Zip.  Zilch.  Absolutely none.  Whatsoever.
What's more, is that mountains of research has shown marijuana to have susbstantially positive effects not only on patients afflicted with numerous ailments like nausea and cancer (side note: THC will actively attack and destroy tumors, it literally cures cancer) but can act as a preventative for things like cancer.
But the real kicker is the number of readily available, legal substances that have harmful, long-term effects.  Anytime someone that opposes marijuana has a drink of alcohol, or smokes tobacco, or takes a vicodin, or drinks caffeine, or eats fast food, they're proving the non-existant health issues with marijuana aren't really why they're against it.  No, they've moved beyond the ignorance of not knowing the truth about marijuana to hating it just because and subsequently supporting a mindset created by racism and corporate greed.

7) "Playing video games promotes violent behavior"

It's amazing how this keeps popping up.  I thought we, as a people, would have moved on to another scapegoat by now.  Did music and movies play the role for this long?
Any time some new study pops up that proves, indicates, insinuates or sharts that video games promote violent behavior, it's results and testing methodology are immediately ripped apart by any proper research group or institution that happens to come across it.  It's a ridiculous blanket statement with no basis designed to give bad parents and a broken mental health care system something to blame.

8) "I can't wait to spend $700 and wait in line for 5 hours to get Apple's new iThing!"

Oh Apple, how I hate thee.  Seriously, though, I really don't like Apple.  Their unethical business practices run the gamut from using conflict minerals in their products to using patent warfare against competitors they can't overcome to absurd profit margins on every product they sell (i.e. there's a gigantic discrepancy between what you paid for your iThing and what it cost to make, far more so than almost every single other competing product) it's just... the epitome of the comically evil corporation limply trying to play nice in the public eye.
What really brings up the bile though, is how mindlessly (emphasis on the mindlessly) excited the fanboys get about every new Apple product.  You tell them that the Fown by Nokiasungarola is already out, has a much better screen, camera, processor, memory, data speeds, speaker, microphone, can be configured to look and act absolutely any way they want, even identical to an iPhone interface and costs $300 less yet they don't care, somehow the iPhone 6t is still "better" in some unquantifiable way and they must stand in line outside a store for 4 days as though that's the only way to get one.  You're supporting an evil company (that thinks you're stupid, by the way) by paying way too much for outdated hardware with locked down software that will be double-outdated in 6 months!  (No wonder they think you're stupid)  And you're jumping up and down in everyone's faces shouting about how excited you are to do so.  Stop it!

9) "Sarah Palin is great/smart/a qualified politician."

How much has this terminal case made an appearance here now?  This is not  Democrat/Republican thing.  It's not a Conservative/Liberal thing.  It's a smart/dumb thing.  Sarah Palin has no significant political experience and proved time and time again that she also has no political knowledge to make up for that lack of experience.  She has a worse grasp of history, economics and foreign policy than I did in the 6th grade.  This is not an exaggeration, and her numerous errors when talking to the media were not just her getting picked on, she didn't know what to say because she doesn't know anything about what an actual politician does.
Palin was picked by the Republicans to try and capture the female vote from Hilary supporters, and had her sex appeal used to attract male voters while down-homey speech and ass-kissing were used to try and appeal to the dumbasses.  It was an all-around sexist, insulting move and the fact that the Republicans didn't go "oh hell no!" was the first big step toward crazy town that resulted in "tea party" congressman and debacles like "legitimate rape."
If you really need further evidence that this inept moron has no business playing politics, consider this: after the Vice President thing didn't happen she started starring in reality tv shows.

10) "Video games are not, and can never be, art."

This is a real whopper.  This is stupid on a critical level.  It's stupid to make such a broad statement about any medium, not just video games, but video games seem to be the popular one to pick on.  Probably because of the reaction it gets, which I'm clearly contributing to, but...fuck it, that's just too stupid not to be addressed.
Laying down a blanket statement like that is inherently stupid mostly because the definition of art is so malleable.  Art is an expression, a thought, a story.  Art is something the artist wanted to share in a way that felt natural.  Not all video games are artistic, not all of them are trying to be, some just want to entertain.  The same is true  for movies, or books, or comic books.  This doesn't mean that none of those things are art.  It doesn't mean that all of them are art, though it's possible that in someone's eyes they are.  The point is to look at them first though.
That's where the problem seems to come in, these statements are being made by people that don't play video games.  It's easy to spot this when their reasoning for games not to fit doesn't hold up against reality.  There's always comparisons to games like chess or football.  While the art of either of those could be argued, neither is a comparison to all of video games.  Video games or not simply meant to be played and won like chess or football, they're meant to be experienced.  They can tell a story, show you beautiful sights and sounds, create attachment to characters and draw you into their world as deeply as any film or novel.  There's allegory and symbolism, questions that challenge your morals and sense of ethics, explorations of what it means to be human, or young, or in love, or scared, or sad, or angry there is absolutely anything you can think of.  Because it's made by people.  People make art.  It's what we do.  When we're not being fucking stupid, anyway.